BGP Tumbles

I want people to understand that my goal to improve the self-love of young African-American women should never be confused with advocating racial supremacy. There are a lot of young black girls who I meet in my travels who don’t have a lot of self-esteem. So if I communicate to them that they’re beautiful, no white person should find fault in that. It doesn’t mean that young white girls aren’t beautiful, because they are just as beautiful.

If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways.

And we should not be surprised when they behave these ways during attempted or completed rapes.

Women who are taught not to speak up too loudly or too forcefully or too adamantly or too demandingly are not going to shout “NO” at the top of their goddamn lungs just because some guy is getting uncomfortably close.

Women who are taught not to keep arguing are not going to keep saying “NO.”

Women who are taught that their needs and desires are not to be trusted, are fickle and wrong and are not to be interpreted by the woman herself, are not going to know how to argue with “but you liked kissing, I just thought…”

Women who are taught that physical confrontations make them look crazy will not start hitting, kicking, and screaming until it’s too late, if they do at all.

Women who are taught that a display of their emotional state will have them labeled hysterical and crazy (which is how their perception of events will be discounted) will not be willing to run from a room disheveled and screaming and crying.

Women who are taught that certain established boundaries are frowned upon as too rigid and unnecessary are going to find themselves in situations that move further faster before they realize that their first impression was right, and they are in a dangerous room with a dangerous person.

Women who are taught that refusing to flirt back results in an immediately hostile environment will continue to unwillingly and unhappily flirt with somebody who is invading their space and giving them creep alerts.

People wonder why women don’t “fight back,” but they don’t wonder about it when women back down in arguments, are interrupted, purposefully lower and modulate their voices to express less emotion, make obvious signals that they are uninterested in conversation or being in closer physical proximity and are ignored. They don’t wonder about all those daily social interactions in which women are quieter, ignored, or invisible, because those social interactions seem normal. They seem normal to women, and they seem normal to men, because we were all raised in the same cultural pond, drinking the same Kool-Aid.

And then, all of a sudden, when women are raped, all these natural and invisible social interactions become evidence that the woman wasn’t truly raped. Because she didn’t fight back, or yell loudly, or run, or kick, or punch. She let him into her room when it was obvious what he wanted. She flirted with him, she kissed him. She stopped saying no, after a while.

Community members interested in supporting youth leadership in Detroit only have until June 2nd to contribute to the Detroit Future Youth “Road to the Allied Media Conference” fundraiser. Created as a way to pay for DFY youth attendance at the Allied Media Conference, a gathering in Detroit of justice oriented media makers from throughout the world, the fundraiser has a goal of raising $5000. All donations will be matched, which means that any donation made will actually be a double donation. Donations will be helping to pay the costs for 60 youth leaders staying at the Wayne State dorms for all three nights of the conference. Staying in close proximity of the conference will allow youth to network and reach out to other organizers as well as position youth as essential leaders in any movement. Michigan Roundtable youth intern, Shekinah Hockenhull, explains that there are also tangible skills that youth will acquire at the conference that will benefit their community, “Going to the AMC allows youth to gain direct media skills so that they can continue to contribute to changing the media narratives placed on our communities. Learning fundraising skills allows communities the capacity to have a vested interest in their future and tangible control over their capacity to do things.” Perks are also being given to all people who donate over five dollars, including: admission to a skate party ($5), t-shirts ($25), a youth led workshop hosted in your area ($250), and a curriculum mix tape that will share all the many workshops and skill building that DFY has learned over the past year ($500). While the fundraiser is obviously about raising money, it’s also about encouraging and developing youth leadership in Detroit. The fundraiser is completely youth led and youth driven as a way to center and inspire youth leadership. Youth Leader Amany Killawi states, “It’s important that this campaign is run by youth because it sets an example for people that youth can lead in the present rather than the future when they “are all grown up”. In addition, when youth see other youth involved and accomplishing great things, it can help them to realize that age does not define potential.” Individuals can donate by visiting the website at http://www.indiegogo.com/detroitfutureyouth The fundraiser ends on June 2nd. They have raised over $1150 so far.

Give your daughters difficult names. Give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right.

Write this down: My life is full of unlimited possibilities.